Episode 29: How To Leverage The Wisdom of Jealousy and Envy with Dr. Joli Hamilton

 

If you want to level up in your business, your career, or your love life, you need something BIG to jostle you out of your everyday energy, right? Surprisingly, jealousy and envy can be great tools for that!

When do you notice yourself feeling jealousy or envy? Those are your next opportunities for powerful growth and transformation.

In this episode, Dr. Joli Hamilton joins Martha to talk about how to leverage the wisdom of jealousy and envy to level up your career, business, or even your relationship. Joli is a relationship coach, research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator who has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imagination to possibilities. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves… no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required!

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In this episode:

  • [00:01:17] Get to know Dr. Joli Hamilton and learn how her life exploded in her 30s and why she went back to school to study jealousy.

  • [00:04:32] What is the wisdom of jealousy and envy? What are the differences between them? Joli breaks down the psychology behind jealousy and envy.

  • [00:08:36] The first thing Joli teaches people when they encounter jealousy and envy: Turn to your body because your body has wisdom.

  • 00:11:42] How can entrepreneurs leverage jealousy and envy for bigger success in business?

  • [00:14:43] The dangers of comparing yourself to others on social media – Joli shares how envy gets us close to scarcity AND abundance and why that’s important.

  • [00:18:57] Women of color experience systemic and personal challenges around scarcity, success, and worthiness… How can we overcome these?

  • [00:24:16] Time is an ingredient. Accomplishments are evidence that you are capable of earning and achieving great success in the future. When you’re struggling, tap into that.

  • [00:30:42] Jealousy is made up of a lot of emotions, including fear. Fear blocks our ability to see how much we care about others. Joli speaks on how the wisdom of jealousy and envy impacts relationships.

  • [00:32:35] Why do entrepreneurs approach relationships differently than non-entrepreneurs? What does this mean for long-term relationships?

  • [00:38:03] What does it mean to be the CEO of your life?

  • [00:39:57] What did Joli have the audacity to do?

Listen to the full episode here:

Key Takeaways:

  • Jealousy is uncomfortable, but we have to sit with it. If we don’t do that, we’re missing an opportunity to know ourselves better.

  • As soon as you know you’re not experiencing what you want, you have the opportunity to level up. Jealousy and envy are powerful tools that can help you level up in your business, your career, and especially your love life.

  • Self-compassion, self-affirmation, and grace can help you overcome comparison and scarcity mindsets.

  • Don’t let jealousy scare you so much that you miss its message for you.

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